AW Blog Chain: National Mock Review Month

Greetings, Earthlings. Agent Z. here, intergalactic spy extraordinaire and the entity Diane Dooley likes to refer to as her alter-ego. The poor old thing hasn’t yet realized that she is naught but a figment of my imagination. I like to humor her, especially when I’ve got her doing all my laundry for me. While Dooley’s folding my unmentionables, I’m taking over her blog for National Mock Review Month (NaMoReMo) in conjunction with those blog geeks over at Absolute Write. You can find links to their mocking fake reviews after mine.

*cracks open a bottle of tequila*

Today I’ll be fake reviewing Dooley’s science fiction/romance novella, Mako’s Bounty. It’s the story of a slutty piece of space trash called Makiko Dolan who bounty hunts bottom feeders for a living. She’s got sharpened teeth, a bad attitude and cusses like a drunken dockworker. Classy, she ain’t.  She reminded me of…well, me. So that’s good.

She’s been on the tail of a space pirate called The Saint and the wily bastard keeps slipping through her fingers, so Mako hits on the idea of reeling him in with her body. She lures him to a one night stand in a fancy resort on Earth. There she intends to use her body and her wiles to capture and turn him in for a huge wad of cash.  I completely approve!

The Saint ain’t as gullible as she thinks, though. He knows exactly why she’s there and he’s gone along with the plan ‘cos he intends to use his body and wiles to capture and turn her into one of his loyal disciples. Did I mention that The Saint is gorgeous? 

With this set-up I was ready for the rest of the story to be an endless succession of sex scenes, followed by some more sex scenes and ending with yet another sex scene. And I was so ready. But does Dooley deliver the goods? Hell, no! I mean there were plenty of sex scenes, but Dooley kept interspersing them with deep conversations, “witty’ banter, and the characters getting to know each other and falling in love. Blech. She even indulges her childish penchant for word building. *sigh*

I keep hoping that one of these days Dooley will live up to her promise and deliver a good, old-fashioned filthy book unadorned with anything except throbbing manhoods, sweat-drenched pectorals and multiple orgasms. Sadly and predictably, Mako’s Bounty is not that book. Better luck next time, Dooley.

*finishes bottle of tequila*

orion_mk3: http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to post)
bmadsen – http://hospitaloflife.wordpress.com (link to post)
You are here.
writingismypassion – http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
meowzbark – http://www.lizzylessard.com/ (link to post)
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
SRHowen – http://srhowen1.blogspot.com (link to post)
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com (link to post)
wonderactivist – http://luciesmoker.wordpress.com (link to post)

I’ll make Dooley update the links as writers join the chain. It’ll give her something to do after my laundry is finished.

Be seeing ya!

Agent Z.

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About Diane Dooley

Writer, Mother, Geek
This entry was posted in Blog Tours, Hops and Chains, Science Fiction and Science Fiction Romance and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to AW Blog Chain: National Mock Review Month

  1. srhowen says:

    I liked the format you used to do this one, Good job.

  2. ralfast says:

    Doesn’t tequila lead to more sex scenes? 😉

  3. Cathy Pegau says:

    Put the bottle down, Z.

  4. alexp01 says:

    Hahaha, that’s wonderful! I love the idea of reviewing in character. This reads like something Z would post on a blog 🙂

  5. Charity says:

    Nice take on this month’s prompt. I can’t decide if Agent Z needs more or less tequila… 🙂

  6. AFord says:

    Well-written! Appreciate the winsome humor too–nice job!

  7. B.M. says:

    So…if you drank a bottle of tequila in the time it took me to read that, then you have issues :D.

    Great writing and very funny. Apparently the book is twelve pounds, the covers take half and the remaining 11.5 are pure sex. Interesting!

  8. LOL! Love it. I can just see the author slumped over in depression, finishing off the last drop of tequila before taking a bullet to the head. I’m left with thinking about throbbing manhoods and pecs. Nice. 😀

  9. Randi Lee says:

    Loved reading this so much! Great job!!

  10. J Elyzabeth says:

    Okay, the author needs some help. You just cannot stop a down and gritty sex scene for “talk”. Ruins the mood, and tequilla cannot fix that. Nice review. 🙂

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